A Bolton, Ont., woman who murdered her toddler 16 years ago by poisoning the 18-month-old boy with carbon monoxide has been granted six months of day parole.

Nadine Bernard appeared in a virtual hearing in front of the Parole Board of Canada (PBC) on Wednesday, wearing a short-sleeved plaid shirt, sitting next to her parole officer in a room at the Grand Valley Institution for Women in Kitchener.

The 50-year-old first-time offender serving a life sentence for second-degree murder became eligible for full parole in February, after successfully arguing for a reduction in her parole ineligibility from 20 to 16 years in front of a jury at a faint hope hearing.

On March 26, 2009, Bernard drove to the underground parkade at 1 Robert Speck Pkwy. in Mississauga, where she worked at Brinks Canada, and parked the vehicle. Bernard had taped and connected a 10-foot piece of black dishwasher hose between the exhaust pipe and the rear passenger window, where her son Jayden was sitting in a car seat.

The following morning, Bernard returned to the parking garage, contacted 911 and advised the operator that the baby was dead. Police arrived and arrested Bernard.

Two handwritten notes found in the vehicle, written by Bernard, suggested it was an act of revenge, including one which said in part, “Payback is a b….”. The other note said, “Mom and Dad, I am sorry. This is the only way I could protect Jayden from Richard and Joy.”

The child’s father, Richard Williams, was a married co-worker of Bernard’s. They had an affair for approximately four years at the time Jayden was conceived. Williams did not disclose the birth of Jayden to his wife for the first nine months of Jayden’s life. When she found out, Williams explained to his wife that he had no intention of continuing the relationship with Bernard but wanted to be part of Jayden’s life.

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After several weeks, Joy Williams agreed to incorporate Jayden into their family. Thereafter, Richard Williams began to exercise access to Jayden and introduced him to his other children and his extended family. When this occurred, Bernard began to feel threatened that Richard Williams would take Jayden away from her.

At the parole hearing, Bernard was asked by a board member what might have changed had she considered the circumstances. “My son would be alive. I would not have tried to kill myself. I would not be incarcerated. I would have put my son first instead of using him as a means to an end,” Bernard replied.

She also agreed with a board member who suggested she had certain expectations about her relationship with Williams. “I expected I was going to marry this man. I expected he was going to divorce his wife based on things that were said to me,” Bernard explained.

Bernard said since then, she’s learned to challenge her thinking by weighing the pros and cons of the situation.

Mitchell Huberman, Bernard’s lawyer, told the board she’s had over 100 psychotherapy sessions with her therapist and has expressed remorse in her grief course. Her lawyer told the board she is a low risk to reoffend and has had success in the community. She’s had 148 days of escorted temporary access and 35 days of work release, working at a catering company.

Bernard spoke about spending time during the escorted access visiting her family, including her mother, two daughters and five-year-old granddaughter, while accompanied by a volunteer who stays with her during the visits.

Huberman said Bernard has also completed three eight-week courses at a Brampton halfway house. “She’s learned how to correct those underlying issues that led to her breakdown and the offence,” Huberman told the board.

Bernard’s parole officer told the board how, on one escorted access, neighbours yelled at her and made comments about the “index offence.” Huberman said the example of the community member screaming at her shows she’s able to deal with it.

Bernard’s plan is to live in a halfway house, also known as a community residential facility, in Toronto. “I would like to volunteer. There is an opportunity for me to work in the community as a hairdressing assistant. Those are things I will look into once I’m comfortable in the Toronto area,” Bernard said.

When asked if she had any closing remarks, Bernard said she was sorry.

“I just want to apologize for my actions and apologize to my son,” she said. “It’s something I’ve done over the years. I also want to apologize to Richard and Joy for my actions. I believe if I was able to process things differently, the outcome would not have been this and life would be have been different.”

The parole board imposed four additional conditions to be followed upon her release on day parole.

Bernard must report any relationships to her parole supervisor or any attempts to initiate friendships. She must have no direct or indirect contact with Jayden’s father or his family; she is restricted from entering Brampton and Mississauga, except with prior written consent, and she must meet with a mental health professional to address grief, loss, trauma and any reintegration stressors she may face.

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